Chapter One

Foundational or background

There are two major foundations or backgrounds I would like to address in this book, both of which have a profound influence on the future of a woman.

A. Generational Foundation:
This refers to the influences a woman inherits from her ancestors—a way of life passed down through generations. For example, a polygamous background or a lineage rooted in certain behaviors can have lasting effects. Consider the descendants of Rahab, the harlot; her lifestyle as a prostitute could manifest in her lineage, making it difficult for her descendants to escape similar patterns. Many individuals involved in prostitution today may unknowingly stem from ancestors who lived that life 20 or 30 generations ago. These influences can overpower personal efforts to change. Even if such individuals marry—whether to a pastor or a police officer—they may still struggle with fidelity.

B. One’s Past Life:
A woman who begins sexual relationships early and becomes accustomed to the pleasure involved may struggle to give it up, even after marriage. While many women remain disciplined and faithful in their marriages, others may find it challenging to resist temptation, especially if they encounter an ex-partner or someone who took their virginity in their youth.

Another significant factor is the quality of past experiences. If an ex-partner was particularly skilled at meeting her emotional or physical satisfaction, the woman may feel tempted to revisit those experiences, even at great personal risk. This situation often arises when the previous partner was able to “dig deep" and consistently fulfill her satisfaction gauge, leaving her vulnerable to seeking out what she perceives as a “sharpening" of her desires.

The effects of cheating are :

1. Broken Relationship or Divorce

The marriage may end due to irreconcilable differences.

Legal and financial complications if the marriage dissolves.

2. Low Self-Esteem for the Husband

Feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and questioning his worth.

A damaged sense of masculinity.

3. Domestic Conflicts

Increase in arguments, verbal abuse, or physical confrontations.

A tense and hostile home environment.

SOLUTIONS

Avoiding an ex can be a challenging but crucial step for a woman to maintain emotional stability, protect her marriage, and uphold her values. Here are some practical tips:

1. Set Clear Boundaries

Avoid any unnecessary contact with the ex, whether physical, emotional, or virtual.

Politely but firmly communicate that the relationship is over and no further interaction is appropriate.

2. Change Contact Information

Block the ex on social media and messaging platforms.

Change phone numbers or emails if the ex persists in trying to reach out.

3. Identify Emotional Triggers

Understand what situations or emotions might make you vulnerable to reconnecting with the ex. Replace those triggers with healthier alternatives, like spending time with your spouse or praying.

4. Invest in Your Marriage or Current Relationship

Communicate openly with your spouse about your needs and desires to avoid feeling emotionally unfulfilled.

Plan activities or dates that strengthen your connection and trust.

5. Avoid Places Associated with the Ex

Refrain from visiting locations where the ex is likely to be or places that bring back memories.

Create new memories with your current partner in different places.